Wednesday, December 7, 2011


They will try to scare you, please you, bribe you
They will make promises, show you the easy part of life
They will tell you lies, give you slimy compliments
They will try to stop you from thinking
Or make you think they are just and honest
They will ask you to do yourself a favor
Like they won’t take anything for themselves

Turn them down, fuck ‘m all
Don’t let them fool you, don’t let them buy you
All they want is your soul, all they want is dirty gain 

After you turn them down, you will see their real faces
Facades will fall off
Claws and jaws stinking of their bloody ordeals will show
Smooth words will turn into morbid growls
The white book in their hands will turn black
The lyre will become a dagger
They’ll push you, kick you, kill you

Turn them down, fuck ‘m all
Don’t let them break you
Don’t let them win
The fight is about to begin

They have the money
They have the power of force
Tanks and truncheons, courts and prisons
They have the skies filled with COMSATs
The ground covered with wires,
CCTV and other surveillance toys

They have the money and force
Armies, police and bureaucrats to guard them
Gigantic machinery to keep them in power
Media, institutions, education systems
Always loaded with dutiful creatures
Always ready to obey, ready to commit
Unspeakable crimes to keep you down in the dust

Turn them down, fuck’m all
Don’t let them break you
Don’t let them win
The fight is about to begin

They may be huge and strong and ruthless
But they are stupid, old and ugly
Their dogs are shallow and slow
They have the muscle, you have the brains
You are smart and young and beautiful
They have the money, you have the youth
They have the COMSATs, you have the spray
They have the shotguns and tear gas
You have the stones and slogans
They own the land, you have the universe
They have the media, you have the sense of humor
They are going to die, you will remain
They will oppress, you will prevail

Turn them down, fuck’m all
Don’t let them fool you, don’t let them buy you
All they want is your soul, all they want is dirty gain
Make your dreams come true
For they will turn your life into nightmare

Turn them down, fuck’m all
Don’t let them break you
Don’t let them win
The fight is about to begin

From the "Apocalypse" published 2011
Copyright: 2011 Xhabir Memedi Deralla

Sunday, December 4, 2011


by Xhabir M. Deralla

I give you freedom
I feed you
I let you work for me
I give you life and progress
Unless you are disobedient

I am your god
Unless you want me be your devil
I bring your decisions
And let you think that you decide

I watch you everywhere, 24/7
For the sake of your security

I give you pills to make you happy
I tell you what love is
I teach you what beauty is
I tell you what human is

And – it is human to kill under my command
It is civilized to attack and slaughter, rape and loot
It is honorable to die for me

I give you money to promote human rights
I let you say few nasty words about me
I even let you have some pocket money when you criticize me
You like that game, and I let you play

I engage your mind to invent new, sophisticated weapons
I take your best years to make a profit for the chosen ones
I let you die unconscious of the evil
I spare you from the pain of thinking

I extinguish nations and races
To create more space for you
To let you cherish freedom and democracy
And pay taxes neatly and regularly

When disbelief torments you, turn on the TV

From the "Apocalypse" published 2011
Copyright: 2011 Xhabir Memedi Deralla

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Welcome To My World

Welcome to my world

Welcome to pain and absurdity and never-ending struggle
Frenetic questioning
Welcome to my continuous departures
Welcome to the relentless running away through weird landscapes
Welcome to the hordes of runaways you don’t know and will never meet
Yet they breathe into your ears, behind your eyes

My quest has never begun, it will never end
This is a microscopic drop distilled from the immense oceans
of questions and feelings
Suffering over the absurdity
Suffering over the sense that reality does and does not make
at the same time, all the time
Finding keys to doors that do not exist
The unstoppable delirium of one single human’s quest
This is the last chapter of the beginning
An invitation to commit suicide and the opposition to it

I rejected this world by embracing it and
I embraced the world that I despised
I do it day and night
The world does it to me in return
This is an unkind attempt to explain the obvious
A strike to the heart of misery,
still admitting misery as it is,
and as it cannot be escaped

I felt
I cannot feel anymore
I cried
No tears can I produce anymore
Finding truth
Until truth became an absolute lie
I lied
Not enough to survive
I crossed all lines of defense
Until it became ridiculous to defend anything
I found the ultimate solitude in the crowd
I found a crowd of ghosts inside me
I loved
I’ve been hurt
Too many times
I fell
And I found ways to fall again

I saw men, women and children who loved life
And became best friends with death and disease
I rose over the ruins of the world
But never learnt to deal with the damage

Sadness beyond sadness
Pain beyond comprehension

Why oh why did I have to see so well?
This incredible power of observation…
And such weakness before the knowledge

The torch has killed the carrier so often
Darkness has swallowed the light
So often, so often

Welcome to the chambers of decay and hum
Your brain becomes a blade under your neck
You willingly cut the throat of your hopes
It will send you to hell, where you actually belong

Welcome to my world
It’s all yours now


Cover: Book of poetry and photographs by Xhabir M. Deralla
45 poems, 19 images, 84 pages, B5 format



Selection of images inside the book:

Facing Death


A Table

A Garden

All rights reserved.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Deafening Whisper

Where do you think you will go from here?

You raped my mother
And shot her after your fellows followed you
Then you turned to my father and me
Handcuffed in the corner of the room
Shot us in the head and left

I will find you

When you try making love to your woman
I will sit on the couch and watch you, covered in blood
Post-traumatic disorder you will call me
You’ll try to chase me off with booze and pills, but
The deafening whisper will stay in your head

Where do you think you will go from here?
I will find you and stay with you forever
To the end of your days
Beyond death, I will be with you

I will be there, in the mirror, when you shave
At the bottom of the bottle my eyes will shine
I will hold your hand when you sleep
Knock on the door in the long silent nights
When you sit in your little backyard
You will see my shape in the shadows of your children

Xhabir M. Deralla
from "Apocalypse" (copyright Xhabir M. Deralla, 2011)

Listen to the poem HERE; music by Mooger Fooger 
To purchase the book, click HERE
To see pics of the launch event, click HERE

Sunday, April 24, 2011


to buy online, click HERE:

The Book
“Apocalypse” by Xhabir Memedi Deralla is a book of poetry and photographs, published by Shortcut Production in association with Cultural Institution Blesok, in April 2011.
The book contains 45 poems in English and 19 images. Editor of this book is Wendy Hassler-Forest, Project Manager at the Musicians without Borders.
The book is divided in several chapters, all depicting the dark reality of the present and even darker future. Political poems present the Author’s view on human rights and freedoms situation in the country and the world. Some poems describe the vicious life in the city, taking you to the world of bars, sex, alcohol and the urge for self-destruction. Many poems tell the story of the eternal questions of existence and meaning of life.
“Dark and seductive, sometimes pessimist but mostly rebellious” – the editor Hassler-Forest commented on the author’s poems at one occasion.
“Their reality is painful at moments, but essential, as well. Like a doctor who has to tell the diagnose to the patient, sentences line one after another, always personal – never general or neutral, sentences that carry the flag of truth in the revolution of mind” – writes Miroslav Stojanović-Šuki[1], painter and multimedia artist (full article:

The Launch

The book launch took place on April 27, at Menada Club (Skopje Old Town).
The program included an exclusive stage performance of the prominent rock band Mooger Fooger and the Author. Most of the lyrics of Mooger Fooger’s new album (to be released earliest in September) are from Deralla's “Apocalypse”.

Soon: exclusive video of the performance of Mooger Fooger and Xhabir M. Deralla

more links:

[1] Miroslav Stojanović-Šuki authored 20 artworks in combined techniques (project: Print on Black - No Good Will Come of This), inspired by Deralla's poems.

More info at:

Sunday, February 27, 2011


click on this wor(l)d
save this wor(l)d
spread this wor(l)d
love this wor(l)d
fight for this wor(l)d

Sunday, February 13, 2011


Dictators will stay in power as long as people are divided. Unite, before they crush you! This is a thought that I want to elaborate more comprehensively, but tonight, I will give it a more trivial dimension. I wrote this on the second day after the inter-ethnic and interreligious quarrels rose again in Macedonia. I will return to my original thought of the beginning of this note, some other time, and will be more responsible to its real weight. Here, I will just use it to begin a note about Crusaders and Saracens in Skopje in the 21st century.

Well, it all started with the government’s "next step" of the “Skopje 2014” project (worth 200 million euro or more) in the face of the so-called museum church on the Kale of Skopje. (The church alone is worth 1.7 million euro.) The leading political party of the Albanians (DUI), otherwise a coalition party in the government, argued against it. The leading Macedonian part of the government decided to freeze the project. For the time being...

The dispute started over night, literally. Actually, the government carried on building the church over night, secretly, despite its promise that the project will stop. Can you imagine? Government sneaks like a thief (over night) to a construction site to continue building a church! A crowd of angry Albanians, led by high DUI officials crumbled the construction down on Thursday night. Great! Of all issues that torment all citizens (including Albanians) in the country, these politicians picked a religious one. The Pride-Minister knows where to strike…

Yes! It was a great, sacred night. “Religion-driven” quest against “religion-driven” Pride-Minister, who probably believes he’s a conquistador or something... Crusaders and Saracens, Skopje, 21st century. Bizarre!

It caused a wave of ethnic tensions, of course. Nationalist-idiotic journalists, editors, and politicians enjoy the games again. The nationalist rhetoric, the entire arsenal, didn’t bring any new, neither less filth. Moreover, the latest incident is both inter-ethnic and interreligious. Politicians, both those in power and in opposition must be very happy with this. The more distraction from government’s wrongdoings and opposition’s incapability to offer real solutions, the better… And, people bought it, as usual…

Unemployment, poverty, international isolation, crime, corruption, violation of human rights, dictatorial behavior of those in power – will continue growing, as long as ethnic divisions and tensions exist. Those responsible of people’s troubles will get away with it, and people will hate each other for being different. Again…

That’s where I connected my thought at the beginning with these events: As long as politicians manage to divide people over this and such issues, they – the people – will be unable to unite against little-big wannabe dictators. Meanwhile, Crusaders and Saracens will fight a war of the past that will cost us the future. And, will turn this ugly city into even uglier village.

Um, wannabe dictators… I like this one.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

That Peculiar Friend

Insomnia, that peculiar friend…
Doesn’t come, doesn’t leave

Like drops of heavy oil,
minutes are sliding down the walls of time
getting nowhere
Time is longer and thicker over night, I discover
Thoughts are drilling harder, too, self-coerced

Seeking for attributes does not complete the picture
The night remains a blank page, calm, yet disturbing
So impersonal and cold, inevitable
Quintessence of loneliness

Waiting for the skies to turn grey
Defrost the pendulum
And harbor another morning

Yet, nightmares won’t leave
And another night will come, I know
Take me back to my peculiar friend
To hold my hand and wrap up my brain

© Xh.D. 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011


April 11, 1970
USA, Apollo 13 moon flight is launched…
Swigert (Apollo 13): “Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here.”
Duke (Houston control tower): “This is Houston. Say again please.”
Lovell (Apollo 13): “Houston, we've had a problem. We've had a main B bus undervolt.”

Midnight, January 26, 2011
Macedonia, timeless…
“Houston, we have a problem!” echoes in my mind. Ever since the fatal error on the tiny spaceship Apollo 13, this phrase is used to symbolize a failure. I would add one more meaning to it. It is to call off the totally exaggerated, tasteless and bizarre behavior of the political elites of this country. “Houston, we have a problem! Houston, we have a problem! Ilindenska BB (postal address of the government’s building), we have a problem!” I repeat myself very often lately.
In the summer, I wear the T-shirt with this phrase, a present from my friend Wendy. I’m thinking, maybe we should print a couple of million of these T-shirts and get on the Ilindenska BB street. Maybe they will understand… ‘Cause we’re in trouble, really. Like the Apollo 13 crew, we are in trouble, not the crew in the control tower – that’s our sad case. And Apollow 13’s.
I’m often struck and shake my head in disbelief when I watch the news. I’m amazed by many of those who make the news, as well. Day in day out, people running the system cause long-lasting damages, often undermining basic logic, leaving you speechless. And, get away with it. And, get away with it rich (financially).
No good… All this is no good to anyone, except to few obedient servants of the ruling clique. This impaired society never stood a chance before the belligerence of the party herd and political illiteracy. It never generated defense mechanisms against sickening ambitions to rule and to gain profits from that rule. Whilst people count their worthless days of bare survival.
Well, we have to admit that political elites managed to unite people more than all civil society organizations together. They united people through rampant robbery of their dignity. Although primitive and translucent, their methods managed to impose incredible levels of control. Decisions often border with insanity, the rest are just stupid.
United in the mud, people started moving. Hungry and repeatedly cheated, seems that they started realizing that rulers are those who cause their misery, not the ones on the other side of the imaginary fences called ethnic, religious (whatever) backgrounds. I hope they will continue uniting, disregarding differences that don’t matter when it comes to justice, liberties and equality.
People… Hungry, tired of humiliation people… I hope they – we all – will soon dress up our minds in an angry T-shirt shouting “Houston, we have a problem!” And, tear the control tower down.