Thursday, August 11, 2011

Welcome To My World

Welcome to my world

Welcome to pain and absurdity and never-ending struggle
Frenetic questioning
Welcome to my continuous departures
Welcome to the relentless running away through weird landscapes
Welcome to the hordes of runaways you don’t know and will never meet
Yet they breathe into your ears, behind your eyes

My quest has never begun, it will never end
This is a microscopic drop distilled from the immense oceans
of questions and feelings
Suffering over the absurdity
Suffering over the sense that reality does and does not make
at the same time, all the time
Finding keys to doors that do not exist
The unstoppable delirium of one single human’s quest
This is the last chapter of the beginning
An invitation to commit suicide and the opposition to it

I rejected this world by embracing it and
I embraced the world that I despised
I do it day and night
The world does it to me in return
This is an unkind attempt to explain the obvious
A strike to the heart of misery,
still admitting misery as it is,
and as it cannot be escaped

I felt
I cannot feel anymore
I cried
No tears can I produce anymore
Finding truth
Until truth became an absolute lie
I lied
Not enough to survive
I crossed all lines of defense
Until it became ridiculous to defend anything
I found the ultimate solitude in the crowd
I found a crowd of ghosts inside me
I loved
I’ve been hurt
Too many times
I fell
And I found ways to fall again

I saw men, women and children who loved life
And became best friends with death and disease
I rose over the ruins of the world
But never learnt to deal with the damage

Sadness beyond sadness
Pain beyond comprehension

Why oh why did I have to see so well?
This incredible power of observation…
And such weakness before the knowledge

The torch has killed the carrier so often
Darkness has swallowed the light
So often, so often

Welcome to the chambers of decay and hum
Your brain becomes a blade under your neck
You willingly cut the throat of your hopes
It will send you to hell, where you actually belong

Welcome to my world
It’s all yours now


Cover: Book of poetry and photographs by Xhabir M. Deralla
45 poems, 19 images, 84 pages, B5 format



Selection of images inside the book:

Facing Death


A Table

A Garden

All rights reserved.

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